Tom Sucks

Everything sucks, but we can make it suck less

TAF – How my house was stolen August 17, 2005

Filed under: General,SA — Tom @ 1:11 pm

How my house was stolen – The Awful Forums (will only work for about a month)

Blockquoth Rooflechicken

By several requests.

I will preface a considerable amount of bullshit to shorten the story here up by saying that I stayed in a bad relationship, not married, for many years too long with the idea that I was trying to do what I thought at the time was best for my kid.

After years of being kicked, slapped, and generally beat upon I decided enough was enough. I told my girlfriend, the monther of my 5 year old son, that she needed to find someplace else to live. After years of refusing to work, I knew she had no money. It would be worth it to me to pay her rent on another place so I knew my son would be ok when he was with her. But she had to go.

I bought my house in 1999, but make no mistake, this wasn’t “our” house. It was always clear that it was MY house. She even made it a point to tell anyone and everyone how that was the case.

My initial offering was pretty straight forward. I can no longer live in the same house as you. I will give you a car, continue to put gas in it and maintain it. I will help you find an apartment, and help with rent as much as I possibly can. I will pay for every last child related expense, as long as I get reasonable time with my son. I didn’t feel like I could offer much more, and all I asked for in return was a reasonable split. I thought that was about as fair as I could really be.

I asked her for at least 4 weeks about a job, an apartment, prosepects? Nothing. She was in total denial and demanded that we try counseling one more time. I reluctantly agreed but reminded her that the point was to deal with what is wrong, not get mad at the counselor when her issues came up. She agreed and we made an appointment for the following Tuesday.

On Friday I stopped at a friends house on the way home and had a few beers. She showed up and was cordial. I had plenty of beer and decided I would just let her drive the couple of miles to my house and call it a night at around midnight. We got within eyesight of my house when she started yelling about how I had done everything wrong and ruined her life. I’d grown very tired of this show, reached over and took the keys out of the ignition. My truck rolled to a stop and I put it in park. She was in shock to some degree, but kept on yelling. I finally calmly said, get out, I don’t care where you go or what you do, but get out and stop doing this shit to me and the kids (she had another a couple years older). She couldn’t believe it I guess, but she wouldn’t get out. I got out with the keys and walked around and opened the drivers door. She got out and headed for the back seat to get the kids out. I told her that wasn’t going to happen and got in, locked the doors and drove a couple hundred feet to my house. My son and I went inside. She showed up a few minutes later crying and screaming, with a neighbor of mine in tow. He began to tell me how he was concerned for the safety of the children, and he was going to have them all spend the night at his house.

WRONG. I told him she could stay with him with her older son, but I was staying put in my house with my son and that was that. Crazy bitch ran into the house and grabbed my kid and took off to the neighbors. OK, fine. I’ll deal with this shit. I walked to my neighbors and he met me in his yard, told me again how he was protecting the kids. I explained he was harboring the one who was causing the hurt, and told him to get fucked.

I went home, very pissed and got a glass of water. Turned on the TV knowing I wasn’t going to get much sleep. I laughed when I saw 2 deputy patrol cars pull up in front of the neighbors house. I thought, she must have pissed him off but good.

A few minutes later they knocked on my door, asking me what had happened. I told them over and over, she’s fucking nuts and likes to fight, I’m not fighting with her ever again, I’m done and she can stay at the neighbors for all I care, but I’m concerned about the kids. They told me the kids were doing ok and not to worry. Then they explained to me how putting your hands on someone else is a crime. Yeah, I know it is, but what does that have to do with me?

“Well, in cases like this its your word against hers and you don’t seem to be as upset as she is and you are also quite a bit bigger than her.”

OK, but I didn’t do anything.

“She says you pushed her”

Umm, she was trying to get in my truck as I was driving away and I may have put my hand out, but only as a blocking, I wasn’t trying to hit or hurt her.

Nope, thats a full admission that I had done something major wrong. I’m arressted and carted off to jail. No biggie I’m thinking, at least I won’t have to deal with her anymore tonight. Then they inform me that as a violent offender I wouldn’t get out until I saw a judge, in 3 days. Oh fuck oh dear are you kidding me? I got along really well with the cops and they even told me they didn’t think much if anything had happened but the law says someone has to go and they picked me because I was bigger. Nice.

Fast forward a few days, the judge tells me no drinking, no firearms (you have NO idea what this means to me) and no contact with her until trial. Luckily HER parents showed up and told the judge this wasn’t what anyone wanted. The judge did not enforce a no contact at their request on behalf of their daughter.

We go to counseling and sure enough, she’s not taking any credit for anything thats ever gone bad, but thinks we can fix this. She won’t find a job, and she won’t leave my house, and now, she’s got leverage. Every day for the next couple of weeks she reminds me that with a phone call she can have me arrested and it won’t even matter if what she says is true, because now I have a history.

I moved out of my house and started staying in my camp trailer, begging her daily to just stop the madness and move on. She insists that if I just do what she tells me to, we’ll get along fine. I finally get tired of the game and hook up the camper and leave. I travelled around for a few days and then got “the” call.

She got a restraining order and since I didn’t do what she told me to, she now has possession of my house and everything in it, my dog, fucking everything.

I kept up my end of what the courts said and asked and lived in the camp trailer in a barn where she wouldn’t be able to at least make things worse. Months went by until I actually got the trial. The prosecuter wasn’t letting up, I was a dangerous criminal and he was going to get his conviction. I stood to lose everything I had ever worked for, my kids, and my guns for life, all because she wouldn’t just leave. Then reality set in and the county agreed that maybe I wasn’t so bad, and if I would agree to a simple assault with a 6 month probation they would drop the whole thing, as long as I didn’t get in trouble again. I made it over 30 years without being in trouble, I can make 6 months, deal. Now, what about my house? How about my kid? My property? Oh, thats now a civil matter, you’ll have to take her to court and you may be able to get your house back in a year or two. Fucking great.

Months go by, and its getting cold, like 30-40 below fucking cold. I finally ended up renting a small house and got enough court attention to be able to see my son. She was still trying to get me back but the probation was about up and her leverage was fading fast. She brought me my dog to allow me to “visit” him, and then informed me that she would take him back when she wanted. Now, I didn’t have much in my life at this point, and I was not giving the dog back, no fuckin way. She called the cops and reported to them that I stole my own dog, and finally things started to turn around.

Yep, its spring by now and I finally get her to agree to a meeting about the house and property and kid. She had no ownership interest in the property but was living there and just wouldn’t leave. We came to an agreement that I would give her (go back and read the fourth fucking paragraph) exactly what I had said in the beginning of this mess. Plus $2500 cash if she would just move out of the house. She agreed, but she needed a couple months to get her act together to move.

At this point, I have my house, my dog, my kid half time, my guns, and most important, no criminal record. It’s been a few years now, and she’s no more reasonable now than she was then. I left a lot of this story out because frankly, the short version is a long read.

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One Response to “TAF – How my house was stolen”

  1. […] Sometimes Tom Sometimes something undefinable « TAF – How my house was stolen […]


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