Tom Sucks

Everything sucks, but we can make it suck less

More on the list June 17, 2008

Filed under: Girlfriend issues — Tom @ 3:05 pm

I was just apologized to for her “expecting more than i’m capable of”, and wanting me to “make leaps that I don’t” (i.e. going from “lift” to “separate”).

– in the middle of this I was interrupted by more apologies-

I had in the previous apology asked if she was saying I was retarded, because it seemed to be of that mind. Now it is a “communication issue”, and that she expected too much to think I knew what Pine Sol was when she didn’t explicitly ask for Pine Sol. I responded that I asked her, yesterday, if she knew the difference between Intel and Pentium (an actual job interview question I’d been asked before), and she didn’t. And I said, likewise, she expects me to know the difference between Mop and Glo, Pine Sol, and Tilex? Her response was that I should know what Pine Sol is due to its heavy advertising on television, and I let her know that I really don’t watch television. I haven’t watched TV in… 3 years, at least. All I remember from the Pine Sol commercials was a black woman advertised it, and they had a new scent at one time.

She says we may have a communication problem that needs to be addressed. :-/


One Response to “More on the list”

  1. Mister F Says:


    Not to sound psychoanalytical (I am not a therapist, nor do I play one, on TV) but that’s a textbook
    case of passive-aggressive behavior. I’ve experienced similar situations only once or twice, learning enough to know its not pretty. And I very much doubt there is an effective way for the recipient to diffuse or avoid it.

    Also, I’ve found this kind of thing tends only to worsen, with time. I’m told its relatively common in women with nasty emotional scars and/or deep-seated insecurities – due, for example, to a poor (or non-existent) maternal relationship. Given that root-cause, the symptoms are unlikely to change, spontaneously.

    To my mind – and this comes after many years and many relationships – there are three, ideal qualities in a woman. These are (1) patience (2) tenderness and (3) genuine concern for others, above & beyond any collateral effect(s) that events in the other person’s life has on her own.

    Now, this list may strike you as ‘no big deal’ or even ‘duh, sure’…because, of course, we are often told that women are inherently imbued with exactly these gifts. Trust me when I say that nothing could be further from the truth, especially among women of ‘boomer’ age or younger. Nowadays, these are rare qualities.

    Yet I believe that when you find one, you will often find two or all three. And that’s the bottom line, here: some combination of these traits is a practical necessity for a workable relationship. Ignore them at your peril. If you find your woman lacking in any two of the three, I suggest that you turn and flee. 🙂

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